If you haven’t had an outbreak yet you don’t know whether it’s oral or genital. I am 58 years old. You did everything right and you were honest. Ringworm lesions look like scaly circles that vary in size and may be clear in the center. I went to the doctor just to be sure, and after a swab and culture sample, we found out that it was HSV-1. We are awaiting his results but mostly I want him to be negative. Even though you never had it, I still can relate since you thought you did, it’s very scary just being told that and thinking you will have it for life.
We got tested anyway, with the results coming up negative. The doctor should have told us how long it takes for anti-bodies to develop because we then had unprotected sex thereafter to celebrate. Then I got the fire ants in your underpants feeling and the painful blisters and went to my doctor who said it looked like herpes and confirmed that diagnosis with the swab test. I remember waking up the morning I broke up with him for the last time, with a single somewhat large bump. When the infection is gone and your doctor has provided clearance, you may return to group or student sports. I am starting to like him and I feel that we have a good connection, and these last couple of days I have been feeling sick to my stomach thinking about H. After about a week of unbearable pain, I went to the Emergency room, convinced it was an allergic reaction to the cream.
Mine isn’t the greatest that’s for sure but they have been good about STD testing before. I angrily told him he was mistaken and to sample the lesions. He took two swabs (which hurt so incredibly bad), gave me a prescription of Acyclovir, a topical cream to numb my area (because I could barely walk), & Vicodin. As he left the room in between writing my prescription, I laid motionless for a while then started balling. I hadn’t cried that hard since I was a child. Once the virus is in your body, it will remain for your lifetime. Is it too soon?!
After about an hour, I finally calmed down. Since I had all the flu symptoms I was psyching myself out badly… I just think that since they went away so fast (within a week) that I probably would have been a hell of a lot sicker if I had HIV too. “I’m still alive,” I thought, “I’ve survived a lot worse”. And realized that I would need to start taking a great deal of care for myself. I also had a breakthrough on how certain I was now that the relationship between my ex and I was officially over, and I could never feel the same way about him. It in a way, helped me realize how horrible of a partner he was to me. Do not share water bottles.
Fast forward to now, and I’m actually so much more well-rounded and human because of this. A strange way to have a breakthrough, but here I am more alive than before. My focus has shifted from desiring someone to share my love with, to investing it in myself. I’ve also finally fell in love with creating art again. My drawing has improved by a milestone. My confidence has also skyrocketed. There are times when I get down, but I always remind myself “this too, shall pass” and am patient to ride the bad times out.
I also met a guy since then, and I told him about my condition. He said he liked me so much and at the rate of transmission being so low, he would be willing to take that risk for me. He appreciated how honest I was. However, I had to break it off with him about a month later for reasons unrelated to the illness. He didn’t look or treat me any different because of the disease either. I know that when the time comes and I’m ready that there will be great opportunities in finding love once more. Hell, I may even try one of those cheesy dating sites for people who have herpes!
I’ve kept my focus since then on my life goals (something I also didn’t have before the diagnosis for 5 whole years), and people for the first time ever actually describe me as being well-rounded. I’ve also been more aware of my body and am incredibly attentive to the things I need to do for myself.